My Place To Be

A lot of people have asked me how did we start My Place To Be?  Well let me tell you our story which I am sure is very similar to many of you parents out there.  Rod and I were surprised to find out that we were going to have another child. Dan was 12 and we were starting over.  I had a wonderful pregnancy I think I felt the best I have in my life, at 38 weeks I had an unexplained Neurological phenomenon happen.  Still today not totally sure if it was a TIA, minnie stroke, or something else doctors never figured it out. But we made it through it.  The day of Colton's Delivery he breathed in  fluid and was taken to Neonatal unit to get him breathing better.  Within a few days was ready to go home.  So a few traumatic happenings but he seemed a health little guy and we went home.  

The first week home I did notice that he was much more alert than most newborns.  Holding his neck up to look around at everything.  Not real big on sleeping but was constantly taking in everything around him. Within six weeks the crying at night began he could not go to sleep we tried it all, at first I thought it was colic and it would pass but then after months and months we realized he was overstimulated and could not shut it off.  He was developing as a normal baby though we were seeing the milestones come and go and some very early.  He began walking around 7- 8 months and was at a full out run soon after.  He didn't really ever crawl much he went from scooting right to running.   Gross motor skills he had and was advanced at, always exploring the world through his exuberance for life.  

Communication was another thing.  He said basic words at almost normal times.  I could understand him and he was able to get what he wanted across to us.  Sometimes I thought maybe he had some telepathic quality because sometimes there were no words I just knew what he wanted.   Then I thought well maybe we just are so quick to make him happy he really doesn't have to talk to get his point across.  The terrible twos was just keeping him safe we would run from one thing to another with absolutely no fear and no pain he would run into things and I would think that has got to hurt but not Colt he just kept on going.  His "meltdowns" seemed to be increasing as he would get frustrated with things he was trying to accomplish.  By age three we noticed I could understand him but other's could not.  So more frustrations at Daycare.  Three months before his Third Birthday the Daycare called for us to come in.  I can still hear the words we can't take care of him any longer.   So we went to a second daycare and quickly realized this was not the right place for him either.  So then to find a private sitter, we quickly found out that he was too much for her.  I just remember this time of sobbing and crying what is wrong with him, there were times I began wondering if he was possessed.  I just wanted a place where my child belonged and was able to be himself.      We then found Public Preschool and guess what Colt qualified for intervention!  YEAH finally someone would help us and that they did. Within a couple of months we had him evaluated for Sensory Processing Disorder by our OT.  And he met 5 of the 6 areas of deficiency.  We began OT right away and he did great, we started seeing some improvements.  We were also blessed with wonderful teachers at Flying Colors that were seeing things as professionals that were helping us to see there was more going on in Colton's development.  

I got on the internet and researched almost every night and we set appointments to get into clinics to see what is really going on.  We got on the waiting list to go to Children's Hospital, and in the mean time we went to the local mental health agency.  They spent a 1/2 hour with Colton in a very small room and said he has oppositional  defiance disorder and ADHD.  Not take any further test or even doing a questionnaire,  I was outraged over this all Three year olds are Oppositional Defiant when you look at the diagnosis.  I would not accept this diagnosis.  ADHD? he is Obsessive about completing task to the point we can't just build one puzzle we have to build all 20 we own,  Legos we have to use every block to finish how can you say he has Attention Deficit Disorder.   I always saw the hyperactivity but Attention Deficit?  After 9 months of waiting we got into Children's Hospital Autism clinic, we went to a room that had 2 way mirrors.  Immediately. when the doctors came into the room Colton hid under the tables and would not come out.  after a while a girl coasted him from under the table and drew a picture of a black cat and asked Colton what is this, his response a jaguar.  Our report came back and I was so disappointed we read through and the first line was many Autistic tendencies but does not demonstrate Autism, we were given the ADHD diagnosis again.  I just wanted answers I was still searching on the internet  and reading books I was in a books store and this book kept jumping out at me about Asperger's Syndrome, I had never heard of this disorder,  I just kept being drawn back to this book. Divine intervention almost so I bought it.   I started reading the book that night and could not put it down it was almost like it was written about Colton.   I kept searching the internet and was doing additional research on Asperger's and came across a Doctor that specialized in ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome. I thought o k it is worth a try lets go see him.   We did he took all of our previous testing reports and school reports we filled out more testing he met with Rod and I for a visit.  Then he met Colton for a visit and told us he truly believed Colton had Asperger's Syndrome he was younger than most kids are when they are diagnosed but he had was meeting the six diagnostic criteria.  I hate to say it but I was relieved with the diagnosis.  We had something to work with now and we could work on getting him better.  The great thing was we had already been doing a lot of steps we needed to do.  It took us 4 years but we had an answer.  So we then began working harder.   We had one more year at Flying Colors to get ready for Kindergarten.    

Kindergarten went great! We had a wonderful year he was getting help and was really at level with his class thanks to the almost 3 years at Flying colors.  First Grade another amazing year.  We had behavioral issues here and there but the school intervention was amazing and worked with us and we were able to keep him growing academically and socially.  Second Grade was more of a challenge.  I learned quickly a teacher can make all the difference in the world.  You cannot change Colton I learned he is not moldable into a perfect peg he is his own person to get him to conform is not possible.  You need to accept his thoughts, humor and work with them.  We struggled through but he did well and progressed.  

Then Third Grade hit.  Not sure what happened it still is baffling to me.  Great teacher who truly enjoyed Colton, our OT who has seen Colton since he was 3 years old took a job in our school district, a good friend and one of our founding Board Members was his intervention specialist we had the perfect team.  Well soon after school started found out our teacher was going to have a baby and would be out in February.  So as a team we prepared we had one substitute for the year she was co-teaching so Colton would get to know her ahead a time.  But we never really got settled.  We worked together all year long and by gosh he made it through Third Grade. I quit my full time job in the process to be a more hands on mom and help him get through this year.   It has helped but it showed me this is a life long adventure we will be taking together.  As he gets older we will have new challenges to face, hopefully we will be able to put other challenges behind us.  

Oh about My Place To Be and how we got started.  I had joined a local parent support group and started hearing other parents stories and many were similar to ours.  Traveling to Columbus, Cincinnati and even Cleveland for basic services.  I thought why can't we start something here locally for families. So we began small play groups teaching social skills it was great I had several parents of neuro typical children that realized this would be great for their children as well.  So we had Peer models and we just did a weekly class.  It started to grow, our dreams began to get bigger and bigger.  My life began to change my purpose in life changed in it feels like an instant.  I wanted to do everything I could I wanted a school and more.  

I soon realized that dreams take money to fund.  So I had to slow down and take one step at a time.  So we decided at My Place to Be to focus on the Social Skills.  We lost our beautiful farm due to funding but God definitely had a plan we were able to go to our new location thanks to the Evan's Foundation in Newark.  We were granted a building and a beautiful play yard that we could build a future.  My quest to help others was going to happen.  Here we are Five years later and we are growing and able to say we are helping one family at a time.  I still have the dream of building a school but now I know what steps we have to take to get there.  Funding is number one priority we have the people ready to teach and instruct but we need the Funding first.  We will get there I know.  Thanks to all of you who have helped us get this far.  I don't know what we would do with out you.  

Love and Light

Christa Milner